Who am I, what am I doing, and why am I doing it?

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Hi name is Andy Lightfoot, 

I'm living my best life, healing from Complex PTSD, mainly from trauma accumulated in first responder work, working as a police officer and forensically processing crime scenes as an additional duty that came with an additional 10% in pay, and a whole lot of psychological trauma. Spoiler alert, that 10% was not worth it, but the work I was doing provided a sense of satisfaction and I did my best in it.  

I have come a long way in healing my psyche after falling so deeply into processing crime scenes, for a number of years, I was routinely taking photos of corpses of the people who had died, including and especially any evidence of wounds / bodily marks, so the photos I took included lots of close up shots, which intern I psychologically absorbed, and even if cause of death was not obvious, I took photographs the same way, in case the circumstances later changed.. 

Needless to say, this provided me with plenty of psychological damage to heal from..... oh the impact of the decisions made through the days of my invincible youth.  And now I'm healing from it all, and I'm grateful to be healing healthier than I ever thought was possible, and the healing is only beginning. 

Here, I hope to provide this website as a free peer to peer resource, where I can compile materials I found most healing, and introductions to experts who have most accurately described my own experiences back to me, for anyone else to use for themselves, whether its for healing or personal growth. .. 

I hope you find the same benefit I have seen and better from knowing about these peoples' existence in the world. I hope you find a sense of empowerment from, pulling the curtain back on the mystery of trauma through this website. It's my hope to create something special with this website.  I am only beginning this thing, I know I'm taking on a monumental task, and I'm grateful to be taking it on. 

I hope you find positive, helpful, and healing things that stick for you here, and empower you to feel even just a dial's budge better.. You may hear me say something a particular way that allows things to "click" and make sense and personal growth to occur.  I have been told that I have a certain way of explaining things so they, "just make sense".

This is the expression of a survival based trait called Sensory Processing Sensitivity, in which I can feel like a nervous wreck making a bowl of oatmeal in the morning, and process a ton of information at once. I can become over stimulated very easily and need to pull back and rest from it, however I also have the trait known as High Sensation Seeking / Novelty seeking, so I also crave the stimulation from new and novel experiences. Sounds like a disaster of sensory overload fueled by caffeine, adrenaline, and,, and I've ran that way for as long as I can remember, coffee habit started in the ARMY.

I'm using my natural introspection, passion to help others heal, and my drive for sensation seeking, and turning it all in ward to bring first hand answers to the world about what it's like to have psychological trauma, what healing from psychological trauma looks like, and how we can heal from psychological trauma when we know we can. And once we know we can, the healing begins even if ever so subtly. Here, I hope to help you enhance your own healing and personal growth.. 

My intention in creating this website is to help you regain a higher mind state of awareness more quickly and efficiently than you could before finding it.  This goes for healing trauma, Self realization, and positive personality development. Realizing ourSelves and controlling the actions of ourselves is the key to all of it. Recovering our system, demystifying, planning, and acting forward. This is what we can do.

This is powerful wiring that is still very much alive and running in all of us, and it knocks our mind into states of responsive unconsciousness. The important thing is to not dwell on this, but simply recognize it as the psychology of the fight/flight system operating, and take planned, system decompressing actions. to consciously recover presence from the place you notice your mind's run off to. I'm building this cite to help you bring your mind back into this present moment you're in now.  

I've only recently decided to create this website, so if you're reading this, chances are I'm actively working on building it now. I'm just continually updating it as I go along, It'll change, it'll morph , and I'm doing my best to turn it into something special. 

Mostly everyone I speak with deals with problems of the mind in one way or another. I've accepted the fact that I have a severe case of Complex-PTSD, and there are no sunglasses that hide the trauma in my eyes. It's okay, I accept this, and I am healing from it. 

The more I heard people speak out loud some of the things I was struggling with, they suddenly became much easier of a problem to solve than my mind had imagined it to be. So, in light of that, this is what I am doing here. Helping people see ailments of the egoic mind, such as military service members and first responders experiencing the fear of being seen as, "unfit for duty" and how that provokes an emotional charge cocktail ill call, "fear of death by tribal rejection, and famine", and how out recover our higher mind of perceptive awareness from it.

I've experienced lots of irrational stuff in my own brain, body, mind system. I've left numerous career positions, and experience threat to life charges each time. And I've experience threat to life by tribal rejection and famine charges I was constantly experiencing while dealing with the administration (not all of them) of the police department I worked for upon my departure from law enforcement in 2011..

The expression of narcissism, and the expression of damaged caregivers in balance. This is humanity, however you want to uniform it. Us humans, we're people, and people are people.This is a website about healing, no matter who we are. We are human beings, and there are two words to this description, human and being. We are humans who also have a being consciousness, and we can realize this about ourselves once we were able calm the running mind. 

Regardless if someone can afford world class care, or if they're living homeless and boosting internet access from the local donut shop, we are particles of God's light, and these resources exist for all of us. I'm grateful to create a website that helps direct you to them. We're all human beings living our lives on God's green earth, individually together.. Human problems are human problems, no matter what social status they come disguised in, social status only dresses the same problems up differently, and the mind seems to forget this. 

The resources I'm sharing here have helped me, I can not guarantee they will work for you, but here they are. I hope they work for you, I hope you're able to use them far better than I ever could and heal far healthier than I ever will. Please share this page with you mental health provider if you have one, we're all in this together. for the betterment of all. If everyone starts feeling better we all feel better., and the collective energy field of people raises to a better feeling place to be. 

The information I am providing is not to be held back from anyone, regardless if they have the money to pay for it or not.. It's not medical care, it's demystifying the experience of being human, and living more peacefully in the world we've built for ourselves, and realizing ourSelves in the world we've built for ourselves. 

I'm building this website from the drive of my own pain, and iso far it appears to be a wonderful therapeutic outlet for me, so it's already a win. If it helps others, then that's a bonus

Thank you for visiting realizing presence, I hope you realize presence. I have been actively writing, processing, and healing from trauma since 2021, and I'm building this website to help anyone who finds it, and I hope you find something.helpful, healing, empowering, and enlightening here. We're all on our individual journeys together. 

All the best and God bless, 

Andy