What am I doing?

As a member of a team I can be a priceless commodity, on my own I can be a scattered mess. 

My name is Andy Lightfoot, I am on a life journey healing from a severe case of Complex PTSD, mostly from childhood trauma, police work, forensically processing crime scenes, narcissistic abuse, codependency, insecure to secure attachment, and whatever else I discover and heal through in life., I am alive healing from them. 

My healing journey began in the Summer of 2021,  and I have been using the skills I developed forensically processing crime scenes to deconstruct trauma for myself, and mySelf as a stand alone entity to any trauma remembered ever since. I have learned to practice countermeasures to help deactivate stress response operation, upregulate the higher functioning frontal lobe part of the brain as quickly and efficently as I know how to so far. 

The goal is reconnecting the connection between survival brain and higher mind, and regain a sense of present moment awareness over and over again each time stress sweeps perceptive awareness away, and counting the reps in recovering present moment awareness as reps in healing, and this is what I hope you learn to do very well for yourself. This website serves as a great place to share share the gold nuggets of healing I’ve found along the way, so anyone can use the materials to gain the benefits for themselves or as a peer support resource site. 

Ultimately I would love for you to get good at bringing your mind back into this present moment we're in now, regardless of where the emotional thought train took it. Also I want you to see you have the ability to do this for yourself without the use of this website or any of my assistance. Sure, utilize this website, but absorb and realize the lessons for yourSelf, learn from whatever I'm able to share, notice what resonates with you, but realize the power is within you.  

I was trying to toughen what I saw as the weak part out of myself through the days of my invincble youth, overexposing myself to graphic and morbid crime scenes. I was also trying to compensate for the pain of a toxic homelife in chasing the rush of traumatic exposures I was experiencing to be so extreme that whatever nastyness I walked into upon returning home, so I could at least feel a relaxing contrast.  

As you might imagine, I have gotten to heal through a lot of psychological trauma in order to be able to build this website today, brick by brick, you're watching it go up, and I have a lifetime of healing to go. I'm discovering so much wonderful stuff about healing through trauma, mySelf and the experrience of being alive. I realize the sense of enlightenment in myself, and the I that realizes this is mySelf, and this is who I am.. I am realizing I can share it with others through this website and provide a sense of peer support. A name I have heard given to the experience of it is Enlightenment. 

Enlighentment is not an achievement but an inate capability Everyone can realize Everyone is a sense of enlightenment, everyone has a body, the body is a biological self healing survival based organism made of atoms and a conscious energy. Enlightenment is the realization of it, we all have this capacity in us, and I hope to help you realize it for yourSelf somewhere along the way. 

In my jouney of Self discover, I've realized I have a survival trait that is commonly mistaken for autism, seen in 15-20% of the population known as, Sensory Processing Sensitivity (Coined HSP). I also have the paradoxical trait of High Sensation Seeking / novelty seeking.  I see an overwhelming amount of things in the environment whether I want to or not. Having said this, I am now aiming this set of circumstances into demystifying trauma to make it easier for anyone to heal healthier from it, and the beauty thing is I get to heal from trauma myself along the way.

I’m willing to look like a fool in front of the world to help the ones who can hear me. I know what the pain is and I’m serious about healing. For all intents and purposes, I am uneducated. I have a high school degree, but everything I’ve learned has been, “Self taught”, “off the books”. 

I was born in 1979 (you do the math), I have no desire to go back to school to get a degree in anything I speak about, as it doesn’t make the information any more or less valid and I do not plan to ever work in any clinical setting outside of peer support. I know what I’m able to share helps people and holds value, so I’m using it to the best of my ability, and I hope to be able to talk about things in such a simple way that I don’t have to debate anyone or prove anything. 

I am however figuring out a way to earn a living empowering others to heal from psychological trauma for themselves. I realize the greater the information I’m able to provide, and the more people I’m able to reach, the better of a living I will be able to create, so look for this website to morph. Doing so will allow me to keep my focus here, creating the best healing content I can, which is why I have added a donation option to this website. If you can donate and would like to, I thank you for your support. If you do not have any money to donate I thank you for your support just as well. Please do not put yourself in a bad position from a rescuer role. Gain benefit from this website, free of charge, feel better.

I'm recognizing I'm breaking out of a long term freeze response myself, and radically accept it’s time I reconnect with the world. On the outside I appear able to do any job, however on the inside I struggle to get out of the house just to go to the grocery store at times. One thing I am good at is explaining and supporting people through psychological stuckpoints and healing healthier right along with me. 

I've only recently decided to create this website, so if you're reading this, chances are I'm actively working on building it now. I'm just continually updating it as I go along, It'll change, it'll morph. I hope to turn it into something special, and like everything else, I’m figuring it out as I’m going along. I stepped away from it for a while, but I’m back and creating this labor of love, a website for trauma healing peer support and Self actualization.  

All the best, 

Andy Lightfoot