The purpose of this section is to inform you about the reality that exists with other people we encounter throughout our lives.
"Narcissism" is a word that has been cheapened by over-misuse.
Narcissism is the name for the impulsively selfishly, destructive, hurtful and shocking behavior of various people in society, which is why most of the stuff you will find online will be hatefully focused on these individuals.
While their behaviors are often shocking and hurtful to others, it's important we learn to understand narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder from a neutral perspective, in order to better understand what we're working with and protect ourselves, regardless of who we're around.
The pattern is experessed in different forms and in varying degrees on a spectrum, from:
Regular inconsiderate behavior of people, to
Consistent patterns of oblivious unconscious selfishness happening, to
In your face self awesomeness declared, to
Sullen victimized sympathy enlisting, to
Photo-oportunistically charitible backstabbing, to
Someone being a downright nasty viscious monster
These are not the same people
They all exist, they are all among us, and we are all among them
Understand they've always been here, they will always be here, and you can protect youself.
Forgive them for the traits they have, as it was not their choice
Do not excuse their behavior, they had a choice to curb or change their behavior
Learn from the experience, become stronger from it, and move on.
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Thinking about narcissism in terms of tribal survival and expansion.
There are those who balance, caretake, and sustain the health of the tribe surval, and
There are those who disrupt, attack, and overrun other tribes; and this applies to all tribes.
The footprint of earth that tribes have covered over millenia is the same limited amount of earth, causing tribes of people to overrun the bounds of other tribes of people.
People with narcissistic personality traits and certainly the disorder would likely fall into the band of the tribe that is on the forefront of expansion.
They naturally and pretty efficently overrun the boundaries of others, and sometime in shocking ways to those who do not have that wiring in them.
Those in the caretaking / overseeing band of the tribe are an essential part of tribal balance, practicing medicine, defensive safety, peace keeping, caretaking, and overseeing of the tribe.
People from the caretaking band would be natrually awful at expansion, and this goes both ways as people from the expansion band would be naturally awful at caretaking.
Now ask youself this, if tribal expansion has overrun it self by all tribes, creating overlapping interference patterns of people, would that somehow negate the genetics of the people from the tribes themselves? How could it?
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When we hear someone talking about a, "Narcissist" or how another person is, "Narcissistic" chances are they are talking about behavior that falls within the realms of typical human selfishness, which does not constitute a person having "Narcissistic Personality Disorder' (NPD).
Most people experience post traumatic stress, not everyone develops the disorder.
Most of us have narcissistic tendencies and traits, but not everyone is a "Narcissist".
The two motives of someone with Narcissistic Personalty Disorder are:
- For their own personal gain
- To hurt the other person
Why they do it is an entirely different story. Just become aware these people exist everywhere, protect yourself, know your own worth, and maintain your own sense of Self in their presence and beyond.
I categorize narcissism in my mind as either parasitic or predatory, depending on the expression.
If you have been a host or a victim, realize your own sense of Self worth, Self love, and Self validation, as a child of God here on Earth just like the rest of us. Remove the codependent fuel of enablement from narcissism (cut off their supply) and you'll see if that's what you're dealing with.
If you've been in a narcissisticly abusive relationship, please consult a therapist who deals specifically in Narcissistic Abuse. This one is a different animal from dealing with the psychological impacts of the more obvious traumas, and there are many good narcissistic abuse therapists out there (especially those who have been through it themselves).
It took me 24 years to solve the riddle of what I was dealing with, and even after going through psychotherapy for the trauma of forensically processing crime scenes, realizing what I was dealing with as a survivor of narcissistic abuse rocked me to the core, it's no joke.
That being said, there is also profound healing to be had on the other side of the turbulence.
We naturally join and build our own tribes of people. Surround yourselves with people who you feel positively charged and empowered after being around, and limit the amount of time you spend with people who you feel bad after being around.
It is reasonable and fair to demand radical accountablity in a state of present moment awareness, as our most natural state of being.
Protect your peace, because your peace is yours to protect.
